Thanksgiving is a little like Valentine’s Day.

Stay with me.

Every February, someone inevitably says, “I don’t need a holiday to remind me to love my spouse,” or “We should love each other every day.” And they’re not wrong. But also… after 12 months of routines and responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to have a day that nudges us to pause. To remember. To celebrate what matters.

Thanksgiving has that same dynamic. I hear the statements made about the “Day of Thanks” as the “Day of Love”: “We should be thankful every day,” or “I don’t need a holiday to practice gratitude.” True—but if I’m being honest, sometimes I need a jump start. I say thank you to the barista, I prompt my kids to say it when someone hands them a sucker at the bank. But deeper gratitude—the kind that steadies you when life feels heavy—takes intention.

Every year, Thanksgiving seems to arrive just in time. Just when I start to become blasé and take gratitude for granted, it arrives. And with cold weather and long nights settling in, I’m ready for a reset. Because when it comes to battling discontentment, gratitude is the most effective antidote. Not forced positivity. Not blind optimism. Not ignoring hard things. But authentic, grounded gratitude that trains your brain to see the good—even when someone isn’t giving you a hot cup of coffee, or candy for good behavior.

Here are a few simple practices that keep gratitude alive long after the pumpkin pie is gone.

1. Model gratitude out loud.
   Don’t just think thankful thoughts—say them. Tell your spouse why you appreciate them. Tell your kids something specific you noticed they did well. Even if you don’t have kids watching, this reshapes your inner world. Speaking gratitude out loud strengthens neural pathways connected to positive thinking. It literally builds a new “shortcut” in your brain. And, it feels good. Not just for the person hearing the “thank you” but for your own ears, too.
2. Be concrete— vague gratitude doesn’t stick.
   “I’m thankful for my best friend” is nice. But “I’m thankful for my best friend because she always answers when I call and makes me laugh harder than anyone else” lands differently. It adds texture and depth. This works with strangers, too. Instead of a generic thank you, try: “My order came out so fast—thank you, I really appreciate it.” Specific gratitude becomes meaningful gratitude.
3. Reframe unfavorable circumstances.
   This is the most powerful gratitude tool I know—though it’s not easy. Reframing doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means finding something true and good inside a situation you’d rather skip. Instead of “I hate road construction; this is annoying,” try, “I’m grateful for people with skills to complete this project. This will be so great when it’s finished.” Just avoid the comparison version: “At least I’m not that guy.” That’s not gratitude—it’s judgment in disguise.
4. Use Thanksgiving as a jump start, but keep the momentum.
   Neuroplasticity tells us our brains change with repetition. If gratitude is a muscle you want to strengthen, it has to be consistent. Start on Thanksgiving if you need the push, but keep going. Eventually your brain learns to choose gratitude first—naturally, almost effortlessly. It’s one of the most stabilizing habits during a North Dakota winter when days are short, nights are long, and loneliness or homesickness can sneak in.
   Here’s the good news: none of us get gratitude perfect, and we don’t need to. Thanksgiving simply gives us a moment to pause and remember that gratitude is worth practicing because it changes how we experience our own lives. It softens the edges of hard seasons. It reminds us that even in a culture obsessed with more—more stuff, more achievement, more everything—we already have so much worth noticing.
   This season, try one of these habits. Just pick one. Practice it for a week. You might be surprised by how much more “enough” your life begins to feel.
   
   And if nothing else, let Thanksgiving be the invitation to look around, breathe deep, and say—with your whole heart—“There is good here.”
   
   For more encouragement and ideas for loving life in North Dakota, visit amyallender.com or find me on Facebook and Instagram @HeyMinot.