In the military, commitment to the mission is second nature. Service members and civilian personnel alike pride themselves on being dependable, stepping up when needed, and ensuring the job gets done. But sometimes that same dedication can make taking leave feel like letting the team down.
I’ve heard other spouses comment about their spouse not wanting or being able to take leave due to their workload. Many people avoid taking leave because they believe their absence will have a major impact on the mission. Some work in positions where they feel like a single point of failure, while others worry about placing additional responsibilities on their coworkers. It’s easy to convince ourselves that now isn’t the right time to step away. Before long, weeks become months, leave continues to accumulate, and the opportunity to recharge is pushed further down the road.
The reality is that leave exists for a reason. For me taking leave is not abandoning the mission, it’s investing in the people who make the mission possible. Time away allows service members and civilian employees to reconnect with their spouses, children, family, and friends after long periods of demanding work.
Contrary to popular belief we want our spouses’ home, I enjoy my husband being home and spending time with our kids. Completely disconnecting from the daily routine can reduce stress, prevent burnout, and improve mental and emotional well-being. When people return refreshed, they are often better prepared to give their best both professionally and personally. I have seen how hard these service members work and sometimes all they need is to recharge.
For parents, the importance of taking leave often becomes clear through the eyes of their children. Many military parents have heard the words, “You’re going to work again?” or “Why do you have to go to work?” Those questions can be difficult to hear because every parent wants their child to know they are a priority. Personally, it breaks my heart especially during the summer break to hear my kids say they want us to stay home and spend time with them. While children may not fully understand the demands of work, they do understand quality time.
The moments they remember most are rarely the expensive vacations or elaborate trips. More often, it’s the simple days spent together without distractions. For me, my daughters’ favorite memories aren’t always made on vacation, which I like to travel a lot, they’re made during ordinary “girls’ days” at home, filled with laughter, bath bombs, movies, face masks and uninterrupted time together. Those are the moments that strengthen families and remind children that, despite the demands of life, they remain at the center of their parents’ world.
Leaders also have a responsibility to encourage a healthy culture around leave. Encouraging personnel to use the leave they have earned sends a clear message that taking care of people is essential to taking care of the mission. A workforce that is rested, supported, and connected to their families is ultimately more resilient and more effective.
A coworker and I often joke that we will never be the kind of people who have “use or lose” leave. Behind the humor is a simple truth, leave is meant to be used. It isn’t something to save indefinitely or wear as a badge of honor. It’s an important part of maintaining readiness, preventing burnout, and strengthening military families.
The mission will always demand dedicated people willing to give their all. That commitment doesn’t change by taking a few days away. If anything, it becomes stronger. Taking leave is not stepping away from responsibility, it’s honoring the responsibility we have to ourselves, our families, and the people who count on us every day.
I am not naïve to the fact that sometimes leave cannot always be taken when we want. I had a whole trip planned out when my husband asked if we could postpone it, was I happy? No! But we did and I understand that we will be able to take the trip later. I also know that on other occasions when he has submitted leave it has been approved more times than not.
Ultimately, I think usign leave is more important than not. So, if you’ve been putting off that leave request because you think the mission can’t survive without you, consider this: a healthy, rested, and connected teammate is far more valuable than one running on empty. Your work will still be there when you return. The memories you make with your family, however, are moments you can never get back.
Take your leave. You’ve earned it and you, your family and the mission will be better for it.
Are you a military dependent with thoughts on military life or living in North Dakota? We’d love to hear from you! While this column isn’t intended as a space for complaints, we’re looking for thoughtful, honest perspectives on the experiences, challenges, and unique moments that come with this lifestyle. If you have a topic idea or are interested in writing a column, email Erin.Beene@willowtreemarketing.com.
