With a familiar zzzrrip, I unzipped my suitcase and flipped open the lid—staring down a weeklong trip and solo parenting to go with it.

My kids are old enough to help pack themselves, but as any mom knows, “help” still requires a surprising amount of oversight. There’s still a lot of prompting, reminding, and—if I’m being honest—a touch of nagging, bribes, and the occasional threat. Capable helpers are great, but I’m still carrying most of the mental load.

I’ve spent my fair share of pre-travel days sitting on the floor, paralyzed with indecision, wondering how many shirts are enough shirts and why preparing for “fun” is so overwhelming. At some point, I realized travel wasn’t going anywhere—and neither was I–unless I figured out a better system.

So, I built one.

After years of military life, juggling trips with my husband away, I’ve learned one thing: packing can easily bring out my grumpiest, fussiest side. Travel is more fun if you aren’t starting your trip in a bad mood.

Over time, I’ve built a handful of simple systems that make packing a lot less chaotic. With spring and summer travel coming up, here are a few things that have made leaving for a trip a little less painful for me.

Automate as many decisions as you can.

This is the biggest shift I’ve made. Instead of deciding everything fresh for every trip, I rely on a few defaults. We use the same luggage every time. I pack a general number of outfits based on trip length. I don’t reinvent the wheel every time we leave. The fewer decisions I make in the moment, the better.

Prepack the repeat items.

Toiletries used to be my least favorite part of packing—until I stopped packing them right before a trip. Now I restock everything when we get home. Shampoo gets refilled, toothbrushes get replaced, and it all goes right back into a hanging toiletry bag that stays ready.

I do the same thing with chargers and cords. I keep duplicates in a zippered pouch (mine came from the Dollar Tree), so I’m not pulling from our everyday devices at the last minute. When it’s time to go, I just toss both in the bag and move on.

Go child-sized.

If you’ve ever flown out of Minot or Bismarck, you know overhead space can be…limited. I’ve started using smaller, child-sized roller carry-on bags—not just for my kids, but for myself too. They fit easily under the seat, which means no gate-checking and no waiting on the jet bridge during a tight connection.

It also means everything we might need mid-flight is within reach—which, when traveling with kids, is a necessity.
Save space where you can.

A few small habits go a long way here. Instead of packing full bottles of medications or supplements, I count out what we need and put them in labeled bags. If we’re staying somewhere with access to laundry, I pack for fewer days than we’re gone. A weeklong trip? I pack for five days and plan to wash a load if needed.
I also try to keep things like snacks contained to one designated bag or container. Once the snack bag is full, we don’t take any more.

Let kids pack (with guardrails).

This one has been a game changer. Instead of packing everything myself, I give my kids a simple list—how many shirts, pants, and socks they need—and let them choose what to bring. This list is automated and reused for almost every trip.

I still do a quick check before anything gets zipped up, but it gives them some ownership and takes a surprising amount off my plate. It’s not always perfect, but we’ve managed to avoid showing up with six random T-shirts and no pajamas, so I’m calling it a win.

We made it out the door and to our destination—which, honestly, is always the goal.

I’m still learning and tweaking things, but the biggest difference has been this: packing gets easier when you decide less in the moment and more ahead of time. There are endless tips and tricks out there, but you don’t need all of them—just the ones that make your life a little lighter.

For more on living in North Dakota, join me on social media at @HeyMinot or online at amyallender.com.