The many unknowns of military life often present unique challenges for families trying to plan their future, despite a lack of stability. Family planning through adoption and foster care can be challenging to begin with. But while these unique ways of growing one’s family may seem out of reach for those who move every few years, there are families here at Minot AFB who have successfully expanded their family through private adoption – with a bit of support from their Air Force family along the way!
Major Evan Pittman of the 5th Bomb Wing and his wife Dana have thoughtfully navigated the adoptions process twice. They adopted their daughter Della from her birth mother in April of 2023 and recently finalized the adoption process for her half-sister Nora Joy, who was born December of 2024. This happy ending is only the latest chapter in a series of downs as well as ups, that they have learned to navigate together.
The first question one might ask is ‘where would a potential adoptive family begin?’ And the answer, like so much else these days, is ‘the internet.’ Dana shared, ”We’ve found a Facebook community called ‘{US Military Families} Adoption, Foster Care & Kinship Care Support’ that has provided so much information on how these processes work within the military community. It connects us to other families who’ve gone through the same experiences and helps answer so many of our questions.” She added that they’ve also found a lot of support from military families who have adopted within our own Minot AFB community. Local sources of information are important because adoptive families are beholden to the laws of the state they are stationed in. These laws vary widely from state to state and therefore duty station to duty station.
Dana explained, “Adoption can be a wonderful thing, but it will always begin with the separation of mother and child. We never want to forget or downplay this part of Della and Nora’s story…” After the initial decision to pursue adoption is made, it is time to select a reputable agency and embark on a next step: the home study. This is a 3-6 month process that assesses whether the prospective family is physically, financially, and emotionally ready to adopt. Depending on the type of adoption there may also be additional classes a family has to take.
Adoption is a significant financial commitment. In North Dakota private adoptions can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $11,000 or more just for the agency fee. However what this covers is not regulated and does not reflect the true cost of an adoption. Other costs may include legal representation, travel costs, the home study and background checks, or living costs for the birth mother. And while state and federal tax credits exist, there are fees that must be paid up front. Families have to come up with creative ways to cover these costs, often relying on their social networks to help them. The Pittmans were able to raise additional funds, some of which benefited from the enthusiastic support of Team Minot. “When we put on a bake sale to raise money for our youngest daughter’s adoption… our Air Force family showed up for us in a big way,” shared Major Pittman.
They acknowledged that being a military family felt like a huge hindrance when they first started on their adoption journey. They worried that PCSing, deployments and the sometimes challenging work schedules would mean they wouldn’t be chosen by families considering adoption. They shared, “What happened instead was a connection to a mom who understood all of the great things [about this life.] She saw the travel and the opportunities for our kids to make friends all across the world. She saw the tight knit community our kids will grow up in. And she knew that these people will be like a large extended family when we’re away from our own.” The Pittmans also expressed gratitude for the support of Major Pittman’s commanders, base-wide programs such as FCC care, and unit initiated meal-trains that helped them along the way. He added that they were very thankful paternity leave is extended to adoptive families as well as foster parents.
When asked how it felt to watch their family grow a second time, Major Pittman shared that “ It doesn’t feel real yet. We never thought we’d even have one child, so being blessed a second time feels surreal. Watching our daughter become a big sister is the best feeling in the world.” For more information about adoption in North Dakota, prospective parents can go to https://www.hhs.nd.gov/cfs/adoption-program/steps-adoption .
