{"id":5361,"date":"2022-10-07T10:22:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-07T15:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/?p=5361"},"modified":"2022-10-07T10:39:48","modified_gmt":"2022-10-07T15:39:48","slug":"shes-not-around-here-rewriting-the-narrative","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/2022\/10\/07\/shes-not-around-here-rewriting-the-narrative\/","title":{"rendered":"She’s Not Around Here: Rewriting the Narrative"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

MINOT–I\u2019m not an expert at many things. A lover of learning, I tend to soak up information and skills, without ever committing them to lifelong practice. This comes in handy because I know a little bit about a lot of bits. If I need to know more, I can usually find someone who is more expert than myself.
Recently, however, I\u2019ve been contemplating what my area of expertise is. After much thought, this is where I landed: I\u2019m an expert at reshaping and reframing a narrative.
Let me explain.
Naturally, I\u2019m pessimistic. Or maybe I should say, pessimism was my normal, natural response to life\u2019s circumstances throughout most of my life. Like any good pessimist, I never myself a pessimist. Instead, I insisted I was a \u201crealist.\u201d To me, optimism was foolish; a fantasy unlikely to come to fruition, ready to lead to disappointment. Deep inside, I wanted to believe the good, to be hopeful, but the negativity always won out. I thought if I assumed the worst, anything better would be a pleasant surprise.
After nearly 30 years of living with that mentality, I discovered the painful bits of life are just as painful\u2014even if you tried to brace yourself for them. Disappointment still stings, even when you\u2019ve convinced yourself its coming. Eventually, my unhealthy thought patterns and lack of emotional intelligence took a toll. I found myself facing devastating anxiety and depressive disorders.
I came to an ultimatum: find a way to fix what was going on in my thought life\u2014or succumb to a life of sadness, maybe even suicide.
That was nearly seven years ago. Since then, I\u2019ve worked really hard to shift my normal, natural pattern of thinking from assume-the-bad-negative, to honestly-positive. I\u2019ve created a new \u201cnormal\u201d in my mind. This way of thinking is just as realistic\u2014if not more so\u2014than my old \u201crealist\u201d habits.
I learned that something positive and hopeful can be just as honest as something negative\u2014even when examining the same circumstance. I learned that each of us has the right and authority to shape the narrative of our days. We get to decide what we will believe about our day when we recount it to others, and when we crawl into bed at night.
I do many things, but this is my area of expertise. My ability to reshape instinctually-negative narratives into something truthful, and positive is something in which I\u2019ve achieved expert-level status.
Since beginning to write \u201cShe\u2019s Not From Around Here,\u201d I\u2019ve gotten many, many messages sharing appreciation for my pleasant perspective on a place that many see through an inherently unpleasant lens. This reminds me, in a world that is often dark and confusing, uplifting words spoken with honesty are a balm. We are all drawn to hope.
While I appreciate the gratitude and compliments, I don\u2019t want to take too much credit. I think this is a knack we can all develop with a little practice. We all have the ability to control our story, even if we can\u2019t control the windchill.
Heading into winter\u2014perhaps the hardest time to call North Dakota home, especially if you aren\u2019t from around here\u2014is the perfect time to start honing your own ability to reshape a narrative. To get you started, I\u2019ll reframe a couple common winterisms for you.
\u201cNorth Dakota winters are miserable.\u201d Reframe it, and you\u2019ve got something like, \u201cEveryone knows insanely cold temperatures are uncomfortable, but our community works hard to provide fun (and often free) things to do that only happen during the cold months.\u201d
\u201cWinters last forever up here,\u201d becomes, \u201cWinter is a hard season, but spring, summer, and fall in North Dakota are absolutely stunning.\u201d
\u201cMy kids are going crazy from being cooped up inside.\u201d Rewrite that narrative and you\u2019ve got, \u201cMy kids\u2019 energy encourages us to get outside and play, or attend events even when it\u2019s cold and I\u2019d be tempted to stay home.\u201d
You\u2019ve got the power over the story you tell. With practice\u2014whether you\u2019ve lived here your whole life, or this will be your first winter\u2014you can weave an honest narrative with a positive spin. Positivity won\u2019t change the windchill, but it will help you get through the cold, dark months with your hope, and mind intact.
For more on positive living and an outsider\u2019s life in Hot Dish Land, join me on Instagram (@amy_allender) and Facebook (@amyallenderblog).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Many people move into Hot Dish Land dreading the cold winters. Focusing on the negative can blind us to the positives. With a little practice, anyone can become savvy at telling themselves a positive narrative. Amy Allender photo<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

MINOT–I\u2019m not an expert at many things. A lover of learning, I tend to soak up information and skills, without ever committing them to lifelong practice. This comes in handy because I know a little bit about a lot of bits. If I need to know more, I can usually find someone who is more […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":4911,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","wds_primary_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5361"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5361"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5363,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5361\/revisions\/5363"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4911"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/northernsentry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}